By Amy H.
Did you know that it's considered bad manners by some people to return Tupperware empty? You know, you have a baby or whatever and somebody makes you dinner. They bring it in Tupperware and then the polite thing to do is return that Tupperware (you did know that, right? I have often failed at this task.). I've always returned it empty without thinking twice, but when my sister received hers back recently after bringing dinner to a sick friend, she found a lovely orchid inside. What a nice surprise! And what a nice way to keep the kindness going.
The next time you return Tupperware to a thoughtful friend, why not stuff it with flowers, a potted herb, a bag of coffee, or a batch of cookies?
Is it just me to whom this is a revolutionary idea?
{Image credit: 1888Orchids.com}
It's a nice thought but it puts a real burden on the original recipient. A thank-you note is sufficiently polite imho.
Posted by: Kate | August 25, 2011 at 12:08 PM
I've had very few times where I've gotten a meal. But when I have, it has always been a time when I have been very incapacitated. Therefore, when I take someone a meal, I always make sure that there is nothing to return to me. I get a disposable foil pan so that they can just throw it away. I almost think it is rude to bring someone something when they are down enough to need a meal and then give them another chore to do. The last time I received meals, I had hemorrhaged during delivery and was so exhausted I considered just throwing away the pan and giving the person money to buy a new one.
However, if I were to get something in a time when I wasn't totally out of it, like a Christmas plate of cookies or housewarming, I will totally use this idea.
Posted by: HereWeGoAJen | August 25, 2011 at 12:59 PM
I think the "never return the dish empty" guideline isn't a RULE, but a nice gesture. Certainly not required, and no one who does a nice favor would demand such a gesture. But, if you can, I think it's nice. And feeling free to put something different in that dish seems like an awesome creative idea - a flower from the garden, a homemade non-edible (I'm a knitter, so maybe a knitted dishcloth), or even a $5 coffee gift card or "coupon" for a favor later. The thank you note never goes out of style either - why not put that note in the dish with a small tasteful gift?
Love the idea! Thanks for another great post!
Posted by: Betsy | August 25, 2011 at 01:23 PM
What a sweet idea! I agree with HereWeGoAJen that gifts and food to help during tough times should be given in disposable containers; there should be nothing to return.
That said, if a friend brings food over (while you're sharing wine) or you have a leftover dish from a potluck, giving a gift with that return surely would brighten her day. You're giving something back - and continuing the kindness.
Posted by: Helen | August 25, 2011 at 04:20 PM
I think including a small gift is a great idea! It doesn't have to be extravagant, just a token that conveys that you are thankful for their generosity. It could be a thank you note or even a picture or craft from your child. Most people don't take food to people expecting a gift in return but I know that everyone likes to feel like their effort was appreciated!
Posted by: Molly | August 25, 2011 at 04:42 PM
I'm gonna go with "what a sweet, exceptional idea. I hope it doesn't catch on as the norm, because gifts are already fraught with obligation". I have enough trouble doing thank-you notes. If any of the new parents I've brought food for recently got a special gift/treat for me, I think I would feel guilty for making them feel like they had to. I do my best to use only cheapo food storage, the gladware variety, tell them I don't expect anything back, and they still go out of their way to return it.
Posted by: Lynnette | August 25, 2011 at 05:35 PM
I think it's a lovely idea, but I certainly don't expect it. And frankly, I'd rather get my tupperware back empty than wait for weeks for someone to return it because they have to think of something to give me.
Posted by: Anonymous | August 25, 2011 at 08:34 PM
Hey Anonymous, it shouldn't take weeks since I've provided these inexpensive and readily-accessible options for repaying the favor. You're welcome!
Posted by: Amy | August 25, 2011 at 09:04 PM
I think there are too many people today who don't show enough gratitude for the things other people do for them. A thank you note is sufficient and in my opinion, expected. A simple gift in a returned dish is a sign of sincere gratitude to the person who went out of their way to make and deliver something special. It is also a nice example to teach our children how to be grateful for the people who do nice things for us in our lives. Who knows, there might be more than one occassion where we would need a meal. I wouldn't deliver a meal to someone a second time if they weren't very grateful the first.
Simple, thoughtful, and inexpensive gifts would include items like others suggested; childrens artwork, coffee coupon, and of course something hand made. Why not extend and pass along the gratitude? It's definitely not expected, but sure makes me feel good when I get a thoughtful gesture.
Posted by: TLM | August 25, 2011 at 09:13 PM
I think Amy was just sharing a little-known etiquette fact to show kindness. I don't think she (or anyone on staff!) would judge someone for not doing this or would even do it each instance ourselves. But, hey, if you're looking for a way to return a favor or just show some extra gratitude, kind of a fun way to do it! Thanks, Amy!
Posted by: Jennie | August 25, 2011 at 09:25 PM
I've heard of this tip, too. I usually return Tupperware/dishes filled with some candies--Hershey Kisses or something. It's super quick and simple.
Posted by: Janet | August 26, 2011 at 12:46 PM