Reader help: Gift ideas for second babies

By Jennie

I only have my one (perfect, adorable) child, but I could still talk baby gifts until everyone around me was rightly annoyed. There's just something about the topic I love. Must be how cute everything is. So, when Elizabeth asked me the question: what do you get for a family expecting their second child who 1) don't register and 2) don't offer a list of what they'd prefer, I thought, Well, I don't know, but we'll figure this out!

I don't quite understand the traditional second-child no-gift rule, the rule that goes a little something like this: second children don't need gifts. I mean....really? Everything the parents bought the first time around can be used again? Do second children come with a lifetime supply of diapers and bottles and food I wasn't aware of?

So, tell it to us straight if you have two kids: what did you need when you brought your second kid home? Was there anything worn or out-of-date you would have loved to see replaced? Anything that may be non-baby related you could have used as parents to two or more kids (see: a cleaning service, massage gift certificate, fully-stocked liquor cabinet?). Only stipulation: a gift is necessary in this case, so suggest something.

Here's your chance to share your experience and provide some soon-to-be second-time moms with the best gifts possible.

Comments

[Annie]

We have three boys and I have to say that boys #2 and #3 totally got the shaft when it came to gifts and celebration. I imagine it's a bit different when child #2 comes along who is the opposite gender from #1, but maybe not. Anyway. I've always felt that every baby that comes along (be it #1 or #10) should be celebrated and there are ALWAYS things that you need when you add another person to the household.

When my #2 was born, my husband was out of work. Thus, as you can imagine, the gifts that were the most helpful to us were of the giftcard variety. Some people don't like gift cards, I realize, but I love them. I think they're the gift that keeps on giving - and honestly the most useful. BUT. If we're talking about GIFTS themselves, I've found that the things I've really needed with #2 and #3 are onesies and socks. Those things that take such a beating that you hardly even want to pass them down to the next baby, you know? By the time our 2nd was born we had acquired so many toys and so much equipment that it was refreshing to be able to weed out some of the worn out clothes to be replaced with newer, fresher versions.

Oh! And always the handmade stuff. Baby #1 has SO MANY knitted and crocheted blankets. Baby #2 has ONE. Those are the kinds of things that I'll save for the boys and the fact that #2 and #3 didn't receive much in that regard is kind of a bummer.

[Marie Green]

When I was pregnant with my 3rd (my first 2 were twins), I didn't expect a shower at all... I mean, baby showers are ultimately helpful in the costly expense of setting up the baby's nursery/layette. IE: parents go from not owning ANYTHING for baby, to needing to own EVERYTHING for a baby b/c one is on the way.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I had not one, but TWO, baby showers. The first was my work friends, and I received nearly everything from a work friend's baby botique... so it was mostly the higher-end baby stuff: super plush blankets, JJ Cole diaper/wipes caddy, the wooden (adorable!) paci clips etc. It was AWESOME to have so many fun, nice things for the new baby... even though there wasn't much I "needed", I felt great having things that were just "hers".

When she was born (we didn't know the sex), I also received TONS of baby gifts- also a surprise. And most of those gifts were clothes- which I loved but REALLY didn't expect since she had 2 older sisters.

My 2nd shower was thrown by a small group of friends, and I received gifts for ME: books, a massage, a pedicure, that kind of thing. This was also wonderful beyond description.

So even though there wasn't much I "needed", I still loved feeling pampered and loved that my baby had her own stuff too.

[Rebecca (Bearca)]

My #2 child was a girl, whereas #1 was a boy. So, the second time around, I really appreciated gifts of cute girly clothes. Much squeeing was accomplished. :)

I think you can never go wrong with a nice big swaddling blanket and a cute pair of Robeez shoes! That tends to be my "go to" shower gift. It's a combination that is both and cute at the same time - no matter which baby it is.

[andrea]

Gifts for number two are always fun because they can usually be more frivolous items. Seems like showers/gifts for first children involve all the much needed basics. Most families reuse many of those items so when you are able to have a little more fun with gifts. I love to give a timeless Habba wooden baby rattle and adorable shoes as my go-to gift.

[craftyashley]

I second the idea that #2 gifts can be of a more fun, frivolous nature. Something more upscale- smaller if price dictates- but just something fun! Perhaps some specialty shampoo, a very special blanket, etc. I technically "had" the necessities. But I ended up buying some very special things just for him. Every baby should be celebrated... giving gifts for any baby should be more normal.

[HollyLynne]

Still cooking number 1 over here, but my ears perked right up when I read "cleaning service". I think that'd be a great idea for any mom . . . first time, second time or whatever!

[Jen McNerney]

When my girlfriend gave me this for # 2 I thought she had hit the "too technical" point. I mean really, do I need something to keep track of how long its been since my baby had a diaper change, ate, has been sleeping, etc... and the answer is YES I DO! This thing has an alarm, and a "nightlight" that can help you navigate your way down the stairs at 3am without any cursing invovled. Now, when I just had 1, I had all the time in the world to devote all my attention to her...but when her brother came along, I had an additional TODDLER to deal with and....HOLY CRAP I could not even remember my name at times. Without this thing, he may have stayed in the same diaper for days if I wasn't careful! Oh, did I mention it has a clock AND a little switch to remind you which side you left off with while breastfeeding? Our baby slept TOO much when he came home (Honestly, I am NOT making this up) so I had to use ours to make sure we woke him to feed often enough.

So ladies, here is a link to this handy-dandy piece of heaven for baby #2

http://www.itzbeen.com/

Not too expensive either!

[Mama Bub]

Well, unless you went with all gender neutral colors the first time around, or unless you're having the same sex the second time around, you need some staples replaced. Like washcloths and towels and such. Not to mention clothes and diapers and other cute frivolous things that you don't get to the first time around!

[Carmen]

I usually figure that second time parents have everything they could possibly need, especially if they already have a child of the same gender. I usually buy one of these: http://zoodonyms.com/ A cut-out name puzzle. Both my kids have them and they quite like them. Colourful, with letters & animals. They're a bit pricey with longer names - you just have to encourage your friends to choose short names! :)

[rebecca]

ok, i have 2 of the same gender. the majority of stuff i got for the second was the stuff i didn't get for the first, and decided i needed: the moby wrap, a temporal lobe thermometer, wipes and diaper holders, a nice (easily cleaned) diaper bag, NIPPLE CREAM, and handmade recieving blankets. but my FAVOURITE gifts were the sets of matching dresses/jammies/tee shirts for both girls. I am really hoping I get over it before too long, but i still totally love dressing them up. I just bought coordinating Liberty of London outfits from target.

[Jessica]

For me, I would want to invest in cloth diapers next time around. As for non-specific gifts, something handmade for the baby. Blankets, hats, onsies.

If #1 is older, I'm sure a stroller with a spot for the older one to stand would be of great help!

[Elsha]

I don't understand the second child = no shower either. I wish someone had thrown me a shower for my second especially since my first was a girl born in the summer and my second was a boy born in the winter. That meant even my gender neutral clothes were no good because they were the wrong season.

Honestly I think anything that you would get for someone having a first child would be a good gift for someone having a second.

[Julie]

My mother told me that a shower for a 2nd child just isn't done, and I basically felt shushed into not having one. I certainly didn't want to troll for presents, but it would have been nice to be able to celebrate #2 just like we did #1.

That said, diapers. Boxes of diapers. It's hard to run out to the store with 1 kid, but it's darn near impossible with 2. I broke down in tears when my best friend visited to meet the baby and unloaded a giant crate of diapers from her car.

There are always new developments in baby gear from 1 kid to the next, so if you're up on baby stuff or feel like doing a little recon, see what's new out there. I'd never heard of a miracle blanket the first go around, but I was so grateful to get 1 on the second.

"Perishables" are always good - soap, lotion, shampoo, wipes.

I know there's something I'm forgetting. I'm pretty sure some of my brain cells will never recover from the newborn days.

[JennyL]

These are great ideas! I have a friend pregnant with #3 - all boys, and these suggestions are very helpful! I think I'll do socks, onesies, and the Zoodonyms.

[Blythe]

A friend of mine organized a personal chef service and sent out a fun invitation with a request for PayPal donations to friends of the mom-to-be in lieu of a shower. It was great to feel like I could contribute to a really practical gift that I knew they would use. They loved it - they ended up with dinners delivered twice a week for over a month!

[bobolink]

books, books, books! Time for Bed, Goodnight Gorilla,